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Women's capacity for orgasm is awesome. They can come over and over again, and still be ready for more! This capacity seems almost limitless. They can experience clitoral orgasms, g-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms, blended orgasms, and not only one but multiples of any of these! They've even been blessed with a body part, the clitoris, whose only purpose is sexual pleasure. This may all seem a bit unfair to men who typically reach a precipice, fall over the edge, roll over and go to sleep!
Why is it then that so many women are frustrated rather than satisfied? Why is it that for so many loving couples, the female orgasm remains an elusive dream; one in which she's perhaps become resigned to sex that's pleasurable but not truly satisfying, or even worse, faking it to salvage her partner's ego. If it is really bad perhaps she fakes orgasm just to get the sexual ordeal over with! Or he sadly wonders: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make her come despite stiff fingers and aching tongue? His sexual self-esteem is wounded, and he secretly feels less of a man believing he has failed her.
The first step on the path to freeing a woman's orgasm is for both men and women to understand that men do not give women orgasms. Women allow themselves to have orgasms. Despite popular belief, no matter how good a lover you may be, unless your partner can give herself up to the pleasures of her body, she won't have orgasms. This realization alone can open the door to women becoming orgasmic. It takes the pressure to "perform" off of men, and it frees women to take responsibility for their own sexual fulfillment.
This is very important. If your woman is blaming you, and you may also be blaming yourself for her not having orgasms, it is quite possible, even likely, that you are both looking in the wrong place to solve the problem. Mind you, an unskilled, selfish, or insensitive male lover can be a real problem, and at the very least is certainly a dull bore. And to say that a woman is responsible for her own sexual fulfillment does not mean you revert to a slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am approach to sex and let her fend for herself. After all, the more skilled and attentive a lover is the more pleasure he himself receives, and although you can't give her an orgasm you certainly can help her to have one, or even lots of them. So even though it's not entirely up to you, there is something you can do to help.
The biggest barrier to orgasm for women is mental distraction - thoughts that float into her mind, catching her in her head, and taking her away from what's going on in her body. As soon as she starts thinking, she is out of the moment and will lose touch with her senses and her pleasure. Some of these thoughts may trigger feelings of shame or guilt about experiencing sexual pleasure, for no matter how liberated our attitudes toward sex seem to have become, there yet exists the perception that "good" girls don't! Even today women are divided into categories of "virgin" or "whore". Those who engage lustily in the delights of the body are somehow morally questionable. You can help your delectable partner move beyond these pleasure stifling attitudes by letting her know how much you respect, admire and cherish her fully female sensual self. Tell her often, especially when you're making love, that it thoroughly turns you on to see her let loose the passionate side of her nature.
This is not always easy for men to do. They may have internalized an unconscious conditioning that leads them to accept the rather misogynist belief that women can't be good and pure, and also be fantastic lovers. If they believe this, they are placing themselves in a very unfortunate situation. This belief system inevitably leads to the man selecting one woman for a partner, spouse and mother, and a different partner for an affair or mistress. Adultery is about the only option left to a man who holds such a belief system. The resulting deceit and lying force a separation between the couple and the relationship ends soon enough, for example in breaking up or divorce. In this scenario, the man is at fault and the solution does lie with him. Only a change in his beliefs will solve this problem.
Sexual abuse is a horror and curse that is unbelievably common in our society. Women that have been sexually abused often have great difficulty in allowing themselves to trust their lover, let go into the sensual moment, and surrender to sexual ecstasy. If your lady is having difficulty experiencing orgasm; if you are a reasonably skilled lover; and if you have communicated to her that you honestly wish her to fully awaken as a sexual partner, then the problem could be some psychological damage from sexual abuse. Ask her about this with the greatest tenderness and caring that you are capable of. Be aware that many women actually blame themselves for their own sexual abuse, so this can be the touchiest of all possible subjects for discussion. If sexual abuse is an issue, it is advisable to encourage her to seek professional counseling or some other form of help.
Besides worrying about whether they are "bad" if they really enjoy and want sex "a lot", many women worry about enjoying sex the right way. They worry about how they look, smell and taste. They worry that the cellulite in their upper thighs or the slight bulge of tummy fat may quiver unattractively. They worry about being "clean down there". They worry about how long it takes to reach climax, how much time their man has to spend stroking, licking, and caressing to help them fly over the mountain. All of these thoughts take them out of lovemaking. To help her stay in the pleasures of her body tell her with words and sounds and looks that you adore her, you love to devour her with your tongue, you could keep on touching her forever, it's a delight to you to give her pleasure. And mean it, because if you haven't learned how to enjoy pleasuring your partner, pretty soon you won't have one!
Once she's able to relax into the joys of lovemaking and focus on the exquisite sensations her body can feel rather than listening to the demon distractors her mind can conjure up, a woman's path to orgasm is much clearer. With particular loving skills of your own you can assist her to break that path wide open.
Most men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time, whether they're sexually aroused or not. This isn't usually the case with women. Think of the vagina as a "potential" opening, a magical door that will happily open wide to receive you, but only after you've called ahead to ensure your welcome. Be certain she's eager for your genital explorations by focusing loving attention on other parts of her body first - lots of kissing, neck nuzzling, tender strokes on back, shoulders and arms, then adoring caresses of her breasts. Only after you sense she's ready, through signs like rapid breathing, flushed skin, hardened nipples or enticing moans should you move to her vagina. Once your hand or mouth is at her sweet honey pot begin to explore it from the outside inward - outer lips, clitoris, inner lips, vaginal canal.
Generally women reach orgasm most easily through clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is extremely sensitive to touch of all kinds. Often the head of the clitoris, the pointed tip, is too sensitive for much direct pressure, so focus your attention on the sides. Touch around the clitoris instead of right on it, at least until her level of excitement increases. The skin tissue of your fingers is not nearly as sensitive as the tissue around her clitoris. But the tissue of your mouth and tongue is an almost perfect match in sensitivity. Unless you are more highly skilled in using your fingers, it is a much safer way to start by using your mouth for oral stimulation of the clitoris. Experiment with different pressures, strokes and speeds. Ask her which ones she likes best. A good way to do this is to try two different touches, then ask her if she likes "a" or "b" better.
If she's willing, invite her to masturbate for you so you can learn exactly how she likes to be touched. Many women are shy to do this at first but with some gentle encouragement she may really show her wanton self. It can be a great turn-on for both of you. Many men are actually quite frightened by a woman who is fully sexually awakened. They may doubt their own ability as a man to keep up, or to be able to perform adequately. They may fear that if she is too much woman sexually for him, that she may go elsewhere and find what she wants. It may help you to overcome this fear if you remember that you are not responsible for giving your lady sexual satisfaction. She must do that for herself. But if this fear is very strong, you may seek counseling help to deal with it.
When you do find a particular stroke or caress that is really driving her wild, keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it. Don't change anything about it. Don't go faster, slower, softer, harder, or switch direction. Keep doing exactly the same thing until she lets you know she wants a change either through words or body movement. This holds true whether you're pleasuring her clitorally or vaginally with your fingers or your mouth. Keep going even if your hands or mouth get really tired!
It's a good idea to wait until she is very aroused before entering her vagina either with your fingers or your penis. Generally if she's not wet, she's not ready. It's as simple as that. If your lover doesn't have a lot of natural vaginal juices even when she is fully aroused be sure to use a good silicone or water-based lubricant. Nothing can be a quicker turn-off than rough, dry skin rubbing on soft vaginal tissues. Water-based or silicone lubricant is better because oil can clog the sensitive vaginal tissue.
The most sensitive part of a woman's vaginal canal is the first inch to two inches. It's here that most of the nerve endings are located, so when you first enter her concentrate most of your attention there. The elusive g-spot can usually be found in this general area, on the top of the vaginal wall, a couple of inches in. Imagine a glass lying on the floor. If you reach your first two fingers into the glass at the top, i.e., toward the ceiling rather than the bottom towards the floor, you should find it. It is difficult to reach the g-spot through intercourse, so you will find it much easier with you fingers than with your penis. There are also some interesting dildos and vibrators with just the right shape to reach the G-spot. Move your index finger or your first two fingers in a "come hither" motion (as if you were asking someone from across the room to come over to where you are) and gently stroke her. When you touch her g-spot you may notice a more bumpy or raised area of skin, but you may not. The best way to know you've found this highly intense love spot is by her reaction. Where you look is not quite as important as when you look. Unless she is excited through and through, perhaps from a clitoral orgasm beforehand, it can be difficult to find the g-spot.
Stimulation of the g-spot can produce extraordinarily intense orgasms. As a woman is approaching a g-spot orgasm she may feel she has to urinate. This may immediately cause her to tighten up, stop, and pull back from the edge of bliss. If she can stay relaxed and keep going through that "have-to-pee" sensation it will pass and move on into deep waves of sexual delight. The woman should urinate before intercourse begins, so she can be more confident that the feeling that she has to urinate is a misleading feeling and can be safely ignored.
For most women it is difficult to reach a climax through intercourse alone. This is because the sensitive clitoris isn't easily stimulated just by thrusting motions; the g-spot is difficult to reach with even a fully erect penis; and because often the male partner goes over the edge into ejaculatory orgasm before the woman has had enough action to bring her to the heights. If you touch her clitoris before and during intercourse, and if you've pleasured her vaginally by touching the g-spot with your fingers, the chances are much better that she will have a deep vaginal orgasm while your penis is inside her.
Learn the strokes that turn her on. Tell her how fabulous it is that she's sensual and sexual. Let her know you adore her body and love to touch and kiss it for hours. Help her forget about trying to make orgasm happen and focus instead on thoroughly enjoying every moment of lovemaking. If you awaken your multi-orgasmic woman you are going to like it!
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Pelvic pain is a widespread chronic pain condition that affects the lives of men and women all across the world. But most people don't realize how big the problem is because those who suffer don't talk about it. Why? Would you talk about your pain if it involved rectal pain or vaginal/penis pain to your pals? My guess is no. You would keep it a secret and just try to "brush it under the rug" so to speak. There are so many people that suffer and just accept their pain which is sad.
But change is coming...
In the past few years, pelvic pain is getting much more recognition. Awareness is beginning to grow and people are coming out and talking. So you may be asking yourself, do I suffer from chronic pelvic pain? In a nutshell, chronic pelvic pain conditions usually consist of urinary pain, rectal pain, muscle spasms or tightness in the pelvic muscles, and usually there is no sign of any major abnormalities. That is what makes the condition so tough, is that there is nothing actually found to be wrong with the sufferer.
Previously, most doctors would prescribe rounds of antibiotics or pain killers to take care of the pain. In most of the cases, there wasn't even any sign of an infection. Doctors would just prescribe what they thought might work. Overtime, this method didn't work. Today, there is a whole new approach to how pelvic pain is treated. One of the popular methods that has had good success is The Pelvic Pain Solution, an ebook written by a sufferer that beat pelvic pain (see www.redmaven.com )It is highly recommended if you suffer from chronic pelvic pain. The whole approach focuses on the body and the mind to beat pelvic pain. It is a more holistic approach that doesn't involve antibiotics or other invasive procedures.
Finally, people that suffer from chronic pelvic pain conditions such as prostatitis, vulvodynia, interstitial cystitis, levator ani syndrome, etc. can have hope. The old methods involving pointless procedures (dilations, pain killers, antibiotics, invasive procedures) are about to bite the dust. There is a new turn to a more realistic treatment that puts the sufferer in charge of healing themselves...instead of someone else trying to heal them. This is new breath of fresh air for people with pelvic pain!
For more information on chronic pelvic pain conditions, visit: www.chronic-pelvic-pain.redmaven.com
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A larger penis can be incredibly beneficial to your all around confidence. I have talked to guys that told me their whole life has changed, all because they decided to give penis enlargement a try. Having a larger penis has an effect similar to dressing up in a suit, it boosts your confidence by leaps and bounds. However with the permanent results you get from the patch programs, you can leave the suit at home.
How the penis enlargement patch works.
The herbal patch is a new male enhancement method that is based on the transdermal patch technology. This means the patch slowly releases its active herbal medicine into the blood stream and always gets the job done. The patch is based on a heavily researched way to take medicine that has been used successfully with popular methods like diet patches and smoking patches, to name a few.
The patch contains completely natural ingredients extracted from plants in the world’s rain forests. The ingredients go through a delicate testing and purification process and end up in a neat little patch that can offer some amazingly potent benefits.
What people who use the patch typically experience are: Bigger, harder and stronger erections
Increased sex drive, and improved stamina
More control over orgasms
A massive increase in sperm count and quality.
Some penis enlargement patch companies also provide access to an exercise program. These are special exercises designed for the penis that can help increase its size permanently. Combining an exercise program is highly recommended with your use of the patch. The exercises lengthen and thicken the penis and will bring added many sexual benefits to those gained from the patch.
It is important to know the ingredients in a patch. A good patch company will display its list of ingredients on their website. Look for quality herbal ingredients that will give you real results.
The following ingredients are proven to improve male sexual health:
Damiana – A natural aphrodisiac and sexual booster. It will make your erections more sensitive and will make sex more pleasing.
Fo-ti - Similar to ginseng for its relaxing and stress relieving qualities, Fo-ti enriches the blood and invigorates the body, and especially the penis.
Saw palmetto – This herb tunes up the male reproductive system and boosts the sex hormones as well. It promotes a healthy prostate as well.
Gotu kola – Used as brain food (like bananas), this herb also improves sexual functions and also combats stress. It increases blood flow and reduces high blood pressure.
The ingredients of the patch work together to offer many positive sexual effects. By becoming more relaxed, the penis will be more able to grow larger. Along with bigger erections, the penis can also grow permanently with the use of your exercise program. The male enhancement patch can reduce your stress and help you truly enjoy sex more.
Applying the patch is very simple. You simply replace it in a slightly different spot below the belt every 3 days. Then simply continue life as normal. It looks like a regular band-aid and you may even forget that your wearing it. You can even keep it on in the shower.
The patch stays with you everywhere you go and stays hidden underneath your clothes. The patch continues to work all day long and even gets the job done while you sleep. It is always ready to help you enjoy the best intimate experiences of your life.
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You can throw out most of the management ideas you find in colleges, graduate schools, company training programs, and the like if you’ll do just one, incredibly simple thing:
PAY YOUR PEOPLE EXCEPTIONALLY WELL.
Management advocates have it backwards, you see.
Their pet saying is that the art of management is getting average people to perform exceptionally well.
What they leave off is a small tag line. Let me provide you with the entire phrase:
“The art of management is getting average people to perform exceptionally well, without paying them anything extra for their productivity.”
That’s truly the tacit definition of a good manager, and most of the industrial psychology, job engineering, and yes, management consulting during the past 80 years has been dedicated to this goal.
“Make us more money without making us spend more money.”
But, alas, human nature and life itself don’t work that way—for long, or without unleashing counter-forces such as unions, restrictive legislation, workers compensation claims, and lawsuits.
Somehow, business owners think it’s “cheating” or “dumb” or self-defeating to pay people exceptionally well. They’d prefer to be clever, to invest in labor saving technologies, to cut out the human touch everywhere they can, instead of handing over living, and indeed, prospering wages.
But recall, if you will, that practical experiment undertaken by Henry Ford, by no means a soft touch.
Ford invented the “$5 Day.”
To attract and recruit the very best laborers in America to work on his modern assembly lines he offered that astonishingly high wage. From what I understand, this more than doubled the prevailing rates.
People thought Ford was crazy, and I’m sure he was vilified by his fellow captains of industry.
But his move paid off. He did get the best available people to work for him, and together, they made very, very good money.
From time to time there have been companies that have raised pay substantially, through salaries, profit-sharing, stock options, attractive retirement packages, and the like. And quite often, they’ve reaped a reward from their employees, by way of output and loyalty.
But nothing is as direct or as motivating as more money in that pay envelope.
Most of the silly stuff you hear about today, such as RESISTANCE TO CHANGE is easily overcome when we align people’s interests and commit to sharing the goodies, all around.
Workers that are accused of being change-haters suspect, or actually know, that the “new and improved” work processes that are often mandated by management result in money being removed from their pockets, through downsizing, job enlargement, team-building, and other devices.
Are you going to willingly support something that will make you work harder, longer, and for less?
“How can we pay people MORE?” should be the question.
Answer that, and people will manage themselves and their peers, because they’ll be only too happy to keep a good thing going!
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When a man enjoys a healthy sex life because of a normal libido and good general health, he probably would not pause to think about the complex processes and interactions between various organs of the body that enable him to have fun in bed. Just being in optimum sexual condition is often enough for any man. However, several clinical studies show that the relationship between the prostate and ejaculation will not only keep a man sexually happy, it can also influence his health.
The prostate gland is a walnut-shaped organ found a couple of inches behind the base of the penis. Among other things, it is responsible for producing seminal fluid, that milky liquid that comes out with sperm at ejaculation. It also plays a major role in making sure that a man’s hormonal balance is kept in check, which is vital because hormonal disorders can disrupt his sex life.
Obviously then, keeping the prostate gland free from disease or any disorder is necessary in order to enable a man to want and be able to have sex. What some men don’t know is that having regular sexual activity can contribute a lot toward keeping the prostate healthy. Whether ejaculation is achieved through sexual intercourse, masturbation, or nocturnal emissions (“wet dreams”) doesn’t matter; what is important is that it be done regularly.
A study conducted by Australian scientists in 2003 and published in the magazine “New Scientist” gave solid scientific backing to the theory regarding the beneficial relationship between the prostate and ejaculation. They found that the greater amount of times that men ejaculate when they are between the ages of 20 and 50, the smaller their risk of having prostate cancer. Men who are in their twenties stand most to gain from regular ejaculation (more than five times per week); their chances of getting prostate cancer in their later years drop to about one-third.
Another study, published in the April 7, 2004 issue of JAMA (the Journal of the American Medical Association) suggests a beneficial association between the prostate and ejaculation. The study subjects were asked to report their frequency of ejaculation over a period of several years to see if there was a relationship between prostate cancer and sexual activity. Not only did the study NOT find that frequency of ejaculations causes prostate cancer, it actually found that men who had 21 or more ejaculations per month had a significantly reduced risk of acquiring the disease.
The theory is that seminal fluid that is kept in the body for long periods of time can undergo biochemical changes and become carcinogenic. It’s kind of like milk that spoils and becomes poisonous if kept in the fridge way past the expiration date – a simple analogy, but an effective one.
These studies completely debunk the earlier misconceptions about masturbation (doing it will make you go blind, etc.) and regular sex (that it can cause prostate cancer). Be warned, though, that there is such a thing as over-ejaculation. Ejaculate too frequently and you run the risk of injuring your prostate ejaculation ducts and valves. As an effect, ejaculation can become uncomfortable or even painful, and premature ejaculation may occur as well.
But otherwise, releasing semen regularly is a good thing for most men. The relationship between the prostate and ejaculation is not only a good thing to know, it’s a heavenly thing to feel as well!
